I Didn’t Screw Her and That Kid’s Not Mine, I Swear It!

I am livid. Simply livid.

As you all know, I started therapy a few weeks ago. Already, I have had to miss one appointment because of my job and the incompetence of my co-worker. Now, I have to miss another one. Not only that, but I also have to work out the entire remainder of the week and Christmas Eve with no help at all because of this same co-worker.

Let me begin by stating some facts about this person. He is a 59-year-old man who has a 45-year-old wife. This wife has 7 children, 4 of which are under the age of 18. He (we’ll call him “Joe”) and his wife (we’ll call her “tits on a boar hog” as in useless) have been married for 4 years now and he has been with the company I work for (which shall remain nameless) for a little over 1 year. During the course of this past year, his wife has quit two jobs and been fired from one, which was her most recent. She was terminated for excessive absenteeism. This is a result of having so many kids. Well, it’s actually because she is one of those people that feels like she should stay at home any time one of her children has the sniffles. With 6 (tits on a boar hog, Joe and their 4 short, retarded people who refuse to pay rent) people living in a 3 bedroom house, the sniffles never really go away. Within the span of 90 days, this woman missed 15 days! You read that right, 15 days! That adds up to 3 days for each child and 3 for herself. Granted, she has some female health problems, but she didn’t take all of those days off for herself.

This would have no bearing on me, except that Joe takes time off from work so that he can “take care of her”. Goddamn you fucking piece of shit, she 45 goddamned years old! Has she not figured out how to take care of herself after this much time?!?!? It’s not my fault that she used her vulva as if it were a Pez dispenser! Typically, after the first couple of kids you figure out what causes that condition and you take precautions. But not this silly twat. No, she expects everyone else to take up her slack and to make special arrangements for her as if she were somehow handicapped. She actually complained about her new employer firing her with a tone of righteous indignation. Sorry you fucking idiot, I should not have to work myself into an early grave because you were too stupid to say no or use a fucking condom and your new husband is silly enough to marry your immature and selfish ass. Your employer should not have to grant you more time off simply because you didn’t have sense enough to close your legs. It’s not my fault that every time you have a sore vagina that you have to stay at home and your husband of the old balls has to take care of you like you were his child instead of his wife. Maybe, just maybe, if you didn’t spend so much time using your uterus like it was a fetal storage unit your pussy wouldn’t hurt so badly! Did you ever think of that? Her youngest child is 11 and her oldest is 21. That means she spent about 10 years of her life pregnant or recovering from pregnancy. I’m starting to think that she was the role model for the Cabbage Patch Kids factory. When kids’ parents told the story of babies being found underneath a cabbage leaf, the cabbage leaf was just a euphemism for this woman.

Don’t get me wrong, I totally get the idea of wanting to take care of your wife when she’s sick or injured. However, at some point enough has to be enough. If my wife were seriously ill and needed my help, you can bet your ass that I would do everything I could to take care of her and provide for her. What I wouldn’t do, however, is expect that everyone else is going to make unnecessary sacrifices so that I may do so or that I will be granted special privileges from my employer. The world just doesn’t work that way. What makes this situation worse is that Joe ran out of paid time off about 3 months ago and is now being granted a week’s time off with pay right before Christmas. When we scheduled our vacation times earlier this year, I was told I could not have time off at Christmas because I did not have the seniority to do it and that I would have to wait my turn. Joe was hired at the same pay rate that I was and was granted more PTO than I receive and was hired a year after me. Now he is getting a paid week off simply because his wife’s pussy is falling out and she needs a hysterectomy (typically an outpatient procedure, mind you) right before the holidays. Now that I think about it, his wife also had a “procedure” scheduled right before Thanksgiving as well. Seems mighty coincidental, eh? Fuck it. What can I do?

Oh, and did I mention that I was livid?

**My apologies if the preceding rant offended anyone. It was not meant to be sexist in any way.